I am officially calling the kettle black!
Note: This is to my family who supposably cares about me. And I don’t car if it offends any body or not I am now putting my opinion in and this is mine not anybody else’s and if you don’t like it I do NOT care anymore. So get mad if you want to it don’t make a difference to me I am stating my opinion now. And I am only including my brothers my aunt my grandpa and my mom.
This goes out to my siblings ( Joshua and Jeremiah ).
1. You guys are no where near perfect and never will be and neither will I.
So this is what I have to say. All you guys do is put mom down and say that Mother was a horrible Mom and you guys talk crap about her, well what makes you guys any better. Do you not realize you would not be here without her. Maybe she didn’t have all the money that she needed during your guys childhood and I have got stories from you two and other people now I am judging, Jere you say that Mother made a lot of wrong choices and that she always screamed and cursed you, which I am more than sure that is true. But she gave up her only teenage hood for you have you ever thanked her for giving up her life for you? She took on a teen pregnancy back then when it was highly judged and put down for now days it is more common. Yes she may have said some things she didn’t mean but so have you, you have a temper like no other, remember the night I was in the hospital when I told you I was pregnant what did you do? You screamed and put me down and you even put down the guy who was going to help me through it and you had no right too! Have you ever said well I wish you would have waited but I am here to support you and I can’t wait to have a niece or nephew? No! You haven’t at that time I thought that you were a pure ass! Which you were. But what I am trying to say is I am sick of nothing positive coming out of your mouth, about me or mother. Being pregnant isn’t easy at all, ask any woman. And why don’t you go ask your wife who lost her Mom and ask her if she regrets everything she didn’t thank her for and how bad she felt if she said anything to her that she regretted. And now it is to late to get her forgiveness. Have you ever wondered what it would feel like if we lost our Mother? Probably not but I think of it everyday. And I am terrified of losing her because she is the ONLY MOM YOU HAVE IN LIFE! So stop putting her down and maybe call her up and say hey Thanks thank you for everything you sacrificed for me, because I know you didn’t haft to.
Now Josh, you are worse than Jere because you think you know all the answers and YOU DON’T you think how Mother raises me is wrong well it is non of your business, you have two kids so raise them how you want to. You talk like she is shit under your shoe, you didn’t even want to buy her a Mothers day present. Which is really shallow cause I know our sister in law would love to be able to buy her mom a Mother’s day present. She would give anything to spend another one with her and you could care less and I have no idea why. Because I hate to tell you that you are not any better than anybody else in our family you may try to be but you are not. You are Grandpa Cullis made over and trust me I haven’t got to his part yet. But you have no right to put Mother down do you ever put your Dad down? No, but tell me something what would you think if Mother dropped dead tomorrow how would you feel? I could try to say how you would feel but I can’t because I am not you. I know that I would be horrified and scared to death because when it comes down to it she is the only one we will be able to rely on, and when she is gone she can’t come back. And yes she may not be perfect but she tries, I know for a fact that she has chronic back pain so no the house isn’t as clean as she wants it. But you don’t live here and you don’t have any idea what goes on here by no means, you only know as much as we allow you to know. Do I help out with cleaning the house? No I don’t should I? Yes I should, but I am lazy and I will admit that to anyone who asks. But you do not sit here or see mother when she can’t hardly move and if you did you probably wouldn’t care cause it isn’t about you. So I am sick of you talking shit about our Mother and you think that you are perfect well I hate to tell you that you are NOT God and won’t be, so instead of putting her down why not help her or say hey mom I love you and Thanks for being there for me. I don’t know what your deal is, but you need to get the hell over it. And I am not trying to say I am perfect I am not by no means, I have said a lot of mean things to her and I regret it terribly! And I haven’t apologized yet, and I need to and I am terrified that it is going to be too late and than I can’t imagine how I would feel. Now about you to me. You told me that I should have an abortion or give my kid up for adoption and if I don’t I am selfish, well I am sorry this is the only kid I will ever be able to have. I have been told since I was 7 years old that I will never be able to have kids, and now that I am pregnant all the doctors are shaking there head. Because I got pregnant 1: while I was on birth control 2: I only have one ovary and 3: I had a cyst the size of a grape fruit on the only ovary I have. So tell me why I want to give my only kid up. And I knew when I got in bed that there was a 1 percent chance that I could get pregnant so me knowing that I already decided that if I was blessed with a kid that I would keep it because I own up to my responsibilities especially when I was the one that cause it. So if you wanna be in my kid’s life and mine than if you have any negativity you need to keep it to yourself you can be supportive and support me and love my kid or I don’t want you around, yes I love you but I have a kid to think about, and if you have a problem the way I raise my kid you better not say one word about it. Because this is mine and Dakota’s kid and only me and him have a right to say how we raise our kid. So if you wanna be around support me and love me and my kid.
This goes to my Aunt Andrea:
I just wanted to say that you are not going to like a lot of my decisions I make with my kid, and I will listen to what you have to say but if I disagree with it I am going to tell you why and if you don’t want to hear it than don’t give me your opinion, because me and you think a lot different in ways and the same in others and I know I will make mistakes with my kid but than again you weren’t a perfect mom you even told me yourself. And if you do not like something that I am doing with my child or if you don’t like what Dakota is doing with his child we will listen and if I am in a situation that you don’t like well don’t try to take charge cause that will make me mad just try to help me, and I know when I need help and I will ask for it trust me. Now I am going to let you know that this child has a father and it took him to make it too, so he is going to be in the kids life he can’t be any worse with the kid than me. And if you don’t like it keep it to your self . All I want from people is to support what ever decisions that I make with mine and Dakota’s kid and to just support me and love me and my kid during my pregnancy and when my kid gets here and that everyone respects Dakota like they would respect me because he is the Dad and that goes to everyone in the family and my friends. I am thankful on how much you have helped me out so far so I am saying thank you but please respect what I had to say. I have learned from you mainly to speak my mind and this is what I am doing and I am calling everyone on everything. So that is what I have to say to you.
To my Grandpa Cullis:
Now I have watched things over the years and I have asked many people in the family over this. So this is what I have to say. Why do you make a difference in my mom and you may think you don’t but you do. Because everything adds up.
If Andrea needed a car you would rush out and find her one. But yet you know my mom has no car that is hers and Jerry’s van doesn’t run right and you also know that I am pregnant. And if bubba need a car and Kaitlyn was pregnant I know that you would get them a car immediately and you know that makes you look pretty bad. I never wanted to believe that you beat my mom and Andrea or that you made a difference on the kids. But I know it is true because I have seen the difference that you make between them. I know that you have gave Andrea and Bubba money oh but I know if my mom asked you would say when will you pay me back and I know you will because josh is just like you! And he would too. So what has my mom done so wrong to you that you don’t even care about her. Your so called friend Dr. Oat is the biggest joke ever. And if he treated Andrea or Bubba like he does my mom you would be crawling all over him. Would you not? I know that there is a medicine that my mom can take that is called Lyrica, but your friend Dr. Oat refuses to right her for it and that lets her have no pain, I mean I am sick of seeing my mom always wonder why you hate her so much? And I am staring to believe it, we have no money and we can’t afford her medicine. And Indian health care I know for a fact will cover lyrica but you jerk of a friend will not write it for her, Why? Have you told him something to make him not to do it? Or do you just like seeing my mom suffer I am so sick of people not caring about my mom and now I am speaking about it. I thought that you were better than My so called Grandma Alice is and that is sad. My mom honestly thins you don’t care if she is dead and I believe that. We desperately need a car. But do you car nope. My mom desperately needs lyrica do you talk to Dr. Oat? Nope. What has my mom done so bad to you? And to think you know I am pregnant and you still don’t care that we don’t have transportation, and its not like we can buy a car all our extra money goes to her medicine because of your so called a great of a friend. So this is what I want to know from you right when you read this. Why do you hate my mom, and not care about her, she isn’t anymore blood to you than Andrea and bubba are so why do you make a difference???
Now to Mom:
Now I know that you can’t work and you have tried to get SS and I know you try your hardest and I don’t think it is good enough. Well honestly it is good enough I just get so aggervated that we don’t have anybody we can rely on which I did not realize intill now. And I am so sick of people thinking they know our life inside and out because they have no damn idea what goes on. And I am now realizing when you say no one really gives a shit its true, I do not understand your dad. He should be slapped you do not create kids and get in the bed and make them if you don’t want to be there for them for the rest of your life. And I know you think I talk bad about you but I don’t I defend you, I do not understand your sons except that they are selfish as hell. Yes you have not made all the right decisions but you do what you think is best. And I just want to let you know that I want to take everything mean I have ever said to you. And I am terrified to even think about losing you and me not to able to say I am sorry for what I have done. And I am going to start helping you out and I am sorry how I have disrespected you. And I know I can’t take it back and I know I can say sorry all day long, but actions speak louder than words, so I am not going to try to be better I am going to be better. I am so sick of Jeremiah and Joshua talking shit about you they have no damn right too! They try to blame everything on you but they van never take the blame there self. And I am just sick of the whole family putting you down when they are no damn better than you. They are worse because all they can do is judge you but they can never say anything good. I have no idea why but they just show that they have no life and that they are sorry human beings. They have no idea about anything that goes on in our life and they do not live it so it is easy to talk shit about something you don’t know about, and I can go around judging peoples life too but I don’t because I am not in there shoes. So I wrote this mainly because I am sick of your sons and Dad being dicks and that is all they are and you know I could put Alice in here but there is no hope just like my dad. Mom I love you and thank you for being there for me no matter what. Even though my dad aint in my life I really don’t need him because you are just as good as a mom and dad put together. And I know that when my child gets here he/she is going to have the best Grandma ever and what is sad Brighton and Chase doesn’t even have a chance and I hate it but Josh knows how close he was to his Grandma GeGe and he had told me so he can explain to especially Chase why he doesn’t have a Grandma on either side and God help him, but there is one thing I promise you that I will never do is use my kid against you and it isn’t just for you I can’t be that cruel to my kid. It doesn’t just effect you it effects the kid too and that’s what I look at. So mom I love you and I am so sorry that I act like nothing is good enough because I always looked at the bad and now that I look at the good you are the best mom ever I couldn’t ask for a better one nor would I want on.
By the way it is NOT my mom’s fault that I am pregnant it is mine, she prepared me and told me not to but I didn’t listen so DO NOT blame my mom you got a problem with it take it up with me not her!!!!!!!!!!
I HAD SEX SHE DIDN’T!!!!!!
